I never thought my name would be so important

I never thought something as simple as a name

Could make me question where I came from

I never believed that Arielle could so freaking hard to pronounce that i would have to shorten it to Arie

Now that is all I am known as

Not Arielle

Not שושנה אילנה

My name is my source of pride

It is

French

English

Hebrew

Even Italian

(I’m not Italian)

In jewish Ashkenazi tradition

you name your kid after someone

who’s dead

But in christain tradition you name your kid some name like

Paul

Mary

Peter

Something old

Nothing new

Um no offense

I want to be

Me

Not

The II

Or the III

Not the IV

I've experienced anti-semitisem

A lot of it.

Because of that almost no one calls me שושנה אילנה

Or ariel

ariel is the traditional hebrew pronunciation for

Male

And female

It’s not the little mermaid

I let people think that

Even supported it

It is a Lie

I want my name to be

MINE

But I have scars.

I can’t forgive

I can’t forget

I’m stuck in Limbo

Unable to make a decision

Let me

Live

Let me

Choose

Let me

Be

ME